Friday, March 29, 2024

Rest Home Assistants- some, all, many, one or two...?

 Hi there

As many of my (four?) readers will be aware, I do enjoy writing about the foibles of shop assistants.  Well, surprise, I've discovered a new sub-category...

Rest Home assistants.

My ex-swimming pal J (hereafter to be named Jay) is now in a rest home. She's bed-ridden after a fall.  I visited her last week.  

As I entered the building, the fire alarm was ringing.  Staff were congregating in the foyer.  There was not a sign of a resident.  It was a surprise drill.

When I was allowed to get to Jay's room, she was extremely anxious over the ringing alarm. No staff member had told her anything before, during or after the alarm.   Half a dozen heavy hallway safety doors had been closed.  No-one had answered when she'd rang her emergency bell.

I spoke to an aide -

 "You could have poked your head into Jay's room and told her what was going on. What if it had been a real fire?" I said.

 " I will tell her after," said the nurse aide.

"But she could be dead by then. "

"Yeah?"






Saturday, March 23, 2024

Ahoy, Jellyfish

 Hi there

It's jellyfish time at Hataitai Beach.  Let's hope it's not going to be as bad as one year when the sand was cluttered all over with dozens of dried-up jellyfish.  The water was full of them.

Last week one hit me when I was swimming.  I'm ashamed to admit I shrieked and all the beach-goers looked over to me as I hastily made an exit from the water.

A couple of days later I hit another one.

Yesterday, I hit two.  I shrieked both times.  I hate it when my hand hits a jellyfish.  I must hit its middle because the feel to me is quite hard as it slaps against my hand.  Yesterday, one of the women swimmers told me that a jellyfish had just slapped her in the face..  Yuck....

I know these jellyfish aren't harmful, not even in the slightest.  But they're often as big as saucers.  They have a dark middle and a floppy outside.  I've seen kids scoop them out of the water and toss them around.

I hate the way they spring up on me without warning, like something out of a horror movie.   I hate their slime-like hard feel. I hate them, full-stop.

... and the advance jellyfish are here now.  The armies will probably follow.

Friday, March 15, 2024

TYPIST-IN-CHARGE, Episode 16. Education, Head Office, Wellington, New Zealand


 Hi there

Episode 16, TYPIST-IN-CHARGE


1st Floor and Ground Floor Typing Pools, Education Head Office, Government Buildings, mid 1970s


Being Typist in Charge of seven typists in the ground floor typing room at Government Buildings brought home to me that being in that exalted position was not all a cake-walk.  I realised, even more so than when I was at Health Regional Office, that the typists I was supervisor of could sadly never be my close friends.  I was the boss and there would always be a divide.   I would be partly responsible (with top supervising typist,  Mrs Rowley) for writing up their annual reports, partly responsible (with Mrs Rowley) for working out problems, and wholly responsible for making sure that the work got out on time.  Mrs Rowley did all the interviews for vacant positions and I was glad for this.  I could never ever visualise myself as an interviewer; the thought scared the pants off me.

There was a typist that had joined our little bunch a few months before:  Annette.  She was in her late thirties, dressed gypsy-like, with raven-black curls hanging past her shoulders.  She was a vibrant, smiley, talkative soul, with the kindest of hearts and she loved the world.

On 4th of July morning she came rushing into the typing room screaming at the top of her voice.  "It's Independence day!  Freedom!  Freedom!   I'm free!  Free!"

Annette's divorce had come through.  She had been married to a not-very-nice man.  There was a boyfriend in the wings who, for months had been waiting patiently for Annette's freedom day.  He came rushing into the room behind Annette, and they danced around together.  This young man was in his mid-twenties.  The love and pride for Annette shone from his eyes whenever he looked at her.

We typists crowded around the pair.  We were so happy for them.  "You're invited to our wedding," said Annette.  "You have to come."

And we did go to that wedding.  Annette was in two-toned blue, a beautiful long evening dress with flounces and ribbons, and she wore flowers in her hair.  Flowers were everywhere around The White Heron Lodge in Kilbirnie where the two were married.  Because Annette had been dieting furiously to fit into her dress, the meal at the White Heron was diet-orientated too.

While they were on honeymoon, work carried on in the typing pool.  We closed ranks and took on the extra work that Annette would have done.  And this was the great thing about typing pools:  ranks close when a typist is away.  If a boss's secretary was sick, everything in that area stopped.  Or it was brought to a pool for us to add to our already heavy work-pile.

Whether a typist was in Room 305 or Room 206 pools, or the ground floor pool like I was, it didn't matter when ministerials were given to us; they were top priority.  Any letter signed by the Minister of Education was to be treated as gold.

"So much red tape," sniffed Maureen.

"Nope."  Megan smled wryly.  "It's green tape now, remember?"

 "I can't say 'so much green tape'," Maureen argued.  "It doesn't make sense.  The underlying meaning of Red tape means there's so much piffle to get through.  Green tapes means ....  green tape!"


above: a sheet of A4 ministerial letterhead.  And some green tape.  A4 sheets took the place of the longer foolscap-sized sheets that had previously been used in govt departments.  Not so much was tied up with any tape by this stage, except perhaps big files in Records Division.


After a time, we typists in the ground floor room were shifted to the 1st floor, a back room that looked out upon the annex behind the building.  

One morning, Annette was deep in thought as she looked out the window. "We're in Government Buildings, right-?"

 " -Not to be confused with Government House, " I contributed helpfully.  Government House was where the Governor-General lived.  He ruled New Zealand's dominion as the queen's representative.  

 "Its the largest wooden building in the southern hemisphere, right??'

" So? "

 "So-". She loosely gestured toward the annex.  "the fire escapes are made of wood.  They'll pretty much be the first to burn."

 It was a subject to think about.

Many years back the annex had been erected as a sort of fill-in temporary place, not meant to be a forever structure.  When I had first arrived at Education, way back in the early sixties, there was a canteen on the ground floor of the annex.  It was for the workers of Government Buildings.  Within a very short time, the annex served as the place where the Golden Kiwi Lottery winning numbers were drawn from a large barrel, and with the aid of a long ladle to scoop out numbers.  Mrs Rowley allowed new typists to go and watch.

She also allowed interested typists to race outside to the narrow (land) island in front of our building whenever gardeners were pulling out last season's flower plants - roots and all - and giving them out to passers-by.

Annette, lover and protector of all things earth-grown, would return to the typing pool covered in dirt, and triumphantly clutching three waste-paper bins crammed-full of half-dead blooms. 

 "Do you have a big garden?" asked Helen, our teen newbie.

 Megan laughed. " Annette and her hubby - '. Annette giggled. "They don't have a garden to their flat."

" I give the plants to anyone in my street who wants them, " Annette said.  My last end-of-spring rescues bloomed wonderfully this year. "

After the excitement of Flower Garden Time and other such exciting Education Department activities, we 'girls' would - between the typing of annoying ministerials and all that form-filling for Stores Division -  go back to contemplating the annex, the only view from our windows.  Drat, having to give up our large and sunny ground floor room with a view, just so as one or two higher-up officers could be accommodated in style.

The annex was temporarily used for official enquiries.  Now, my memory isn't that great but I can recall there was an enquiry over several months relating to either the Erebus Air New Zealand flight that downed over the South Pole...or .... the sinking of the Wahine inter-island ferry in Wellington Harbour.  My memory isn't too spectacular in my old(er) age....

There was another annex to the south side of Government Buildings.  It was known far and wide as The Tomato House.  There were lots of windows and in the summer, as you can no doubt figure out by the name Tomato House, the heat was unbelievable.

During my time, both The Tomato House and the back annex were bull-dozed down.  The narrow-ish road between Government Buildings and the law courts was widened.  

In the 1st floor pool we often typed results onto School Certificates.   School Certificates were considered all but essential when a young person left school.  A pupil had to pass in four subjects but was allowed to sit five, just as a sort of security blanket.  In my last school year, there weren't enough teachers in New Zealand.  Our headmistress had asked over assembly if anyone knew a secretary who could take over the shorthand, typing and commercial practice classes which shows how desperate schools were in those days.  Neither could Wellington East Girls College get a geography teacher  So, bingo, there was me not able to sit typing, Geography, or Office Practice. Readers of this blog will know I have a problem with numbers so Maths was out.

"You can sit Art as a fourth subject," said my teacher.

"Huh?'  I could hardly draw a straight line which I proved when I was all but forced to sit that dreaded School Cert Art.  I got something like 17 marks out of a hundred, even though I'd smuggled in a copy of the design on my bedroom mattress of a duck flying through some reeds.  If the design had been good enough for mattress manufacturers it should have been agreeable for the markers of School Cert Art 1960, the pattern challenge.

Anyway...  back to the typing pool, mid nineteen-seventies, and the typing of School Certificates -

We typed results onto the actual certificates if there had been a recount.  Blank School Certificates were given to our pool.

Seeing those certificates was too much not to play around with for our junior typist Helen -

She waved a certificate in the air. "I've made one out for my boyfriend," she said.  "He gets 150% for his rugby knowledge, 100% for kissing, 50% for helping his mum, and 10% for his ability to whisper sweet nothings in my ear..."  *


end



*Singer, Brenda Lee, has a lot to answer for.


######







Sunday, March 10, 2024

What's in Las Vegas' Future?



above: Las Vegas..  I took this photo of the outside of the "New York New York" Casino Hotel.  Note the roller coaster.  And the Statue of Liberty.  Inside the building was a replica of a New York borough, with deli shops and food carts.



Hi there

As you know, I've been to Las Vegas quite a few times.  

Las Vegas changes to meet what it considers that the visitor to the city wants to see. It changes its spots a lot.

The days of Frank Sinatra, his Rat Pack, and visiting glamorous celebrities - Lana Turner, Betty Grable, Bogart and Bacall, etc - was over years ago.  Heavens, even the naughty hotel-owning gangsters stepped away from Vegas.

To stay current the hotels discovered, one after the other like lemmings, that a change of tack would bring in the punters.  How about theme-ing our hotels after countries, they collectively thought - 

Luxor, Rio, Paris, New York-New York, Riviera, Sahara, Tropicana sprung up.   Caesars Palace had gone Roman,  Why go to real life cities around the world when, inside a Vegas hotel , a visitor could dine at a side-walk Parisian cafe, complete with twinkling stars in the fake sky above, and a guy in a striped shirt playing an accordian?  

But, sigh, after a while, a change was needed once again.   And so, Vegas became family-oriented.  It was roller coasters and castles.  And evening pirate battles on the high seas of a casino garden.  And puppeteer shows, and ventriloquists, and circuses.  And real-life white tigers in one casino, lions in another, Flamingos in a third.  A promised Egyptian crypt adventure was a must for families, Walking past a shark in a large aquarium was soooo scary.  And, hopefully, as kiddy-winks slept, the parents would gamble.

Then, oh dear, Vegas changed again.  The difference crept up on visitors without many of us truly noticing.

Stage show musicals were in, family-orientated fun was no good if parents were required to walk their off-spring through the hotel casinos without stopping at the slot machines.  

So, for a glorious couple of years,  I all but bathed in stage musicals.  I loved "The Lion King", "Jersey Boys", "Saturday Night Fever", "Phantom" (of the Opera), and others.  Because two shows a night had to be fitted in, the hotel/casino showing "Phantom" was required to get permission from Andrew Lloyd Webber to cut "Phantom of the Opera" down to an hour and a half.  Lloyd Webber, apparently, loved this cut-down version.  And by the end of the second show, it still wasn't too late for some gambling.

"Priscilla Queen of the Desert" is one of my favourite  stage musicals.  I've seen it several times.  I was so excited that it was going to Vegas, and I booked in advance of my holiday.  Before I'd even landed in the United States, and when the show had only been going a few weeks, it got cancelled.  Those (and I'm quoting a three word rhyme from the movie here) "c**** in frocks" just did not appeal to the typical American visitor.

Across the next few years, stage musicals disappeared, bachelor and bachelorette parties were encouraged instead.  There were wild weekend parties and club nights, and music, and high-end strip shows like "Chippendales" and "Thunder from Down Under" for women patrons, and casino female strip shows for men.  During college (university) breaks, Vegas was saturated with young people looking for fun.  Of an evening, jandals, shorts, boob tubes were worn and yard glasses of booze allowed to be carried on the streets, and into shop and casinos.  What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, yeah?  I so missed seeing Vegas visitors in sparkles and glitter.

And nowadays....?  I hear that Vegas has gone sporty....  With a plethora of boxing matches, and the encouragement of sports conventions.   There's car races, and newly-built sport arenas that can handle rugby and rugby league.   Athletes of all sports are being begged to compete in the city.  Hotels are sporty-themed, with most buffets disappearing to make room for huge sports betting outlets,  bars, and pay-as-you-go foodhalls.

As my four readers know, I'm going to Vegas this year.  Darn-it, I'm not a sports fan.  Still, I guess I better pack a track suit.  Or two....




Saturday, March 2, 2024

That special age

 Hi there


Next month I will be that special age and, by law, I have to renew my driver's licence.  This means I had to go to the doctor to ensure I was fit to drive.

I thought there'd be an eye test where I'd be looking at a chart.  And, yes, I was right...  I did look at an eye chart and I passed, yippee...

Then the practise nurse gave me some mental tests -

"Whaaat?"  My goodness, was I being tested for ... dementia?  Alzheimer's?  My mental acuity?  I was petrified. I'd naively thought I'd be identifying right-of-way diagrams of crossroads.

"I'm going to give you a list of ten items, and I want you to repeat back to me all the items you can remember..."

And, again, whaaaat?????  Where was a car diagram when I desperately needed one?

I repeated back seven from the list.  The nurse was pleased with me.  As she read out each word, I tried to associate it with something.  

Tree -  There was a tree hanging over the nurses' window

Bird -  I thought of a bird on the tree

Ticket -  A show ticket

Health -  I had a bad leg

Apple - First letter of alphabet

Ink - I write letters

Nail - my fingernail

The nurse did tell me that the following day after one such test, a subject lady had rang her up and shouted a missing  word down the phone at her.  I considered it the greatest victory to remember seven items.  I had thought I'd come up with one or two.

Nurse also did a diabetic test on my finger.  She seemed surprised that I tested clear.  She always looks surprised when I pass this test for diabetes.  

She took my blood pressure.  "It's a little high," she said.

"I'm terribly nervous," I said.

Then:    "Imagine yourself in a supermarket aisle," said the nurse..  "How many products can you name in a minute....  Go!"

I visualised myself walking around the Miramar New World.  I came up with 29 products.  I guess in the cocoon of my home, I would have got more but, hey, nerves, yeah?

The highest a small number of people before me had got was, apparently 30.  I preened....

Next....

"Can you repeat back to me any of those ten words that you remember from earlier," Nurse said.

What!-What!-What!-What????????????????????  The ten-word test had been a good twenty minutes ago.

Luckily - phew! - I got the same seven I'd told her earlier.

Nurse all but patted me on the head.  "I'm impressed," she said.

Shining with happiness, I was escorted into the doctor's surgery.  He tested my heart and lungs.  "Perfect" he said.  Wow, Mary Poppins was only 'practically perfect'.  But I rather suspect, it was a word my doctor used a lot.  I remember he'd called me 'perfect' a few years' back.

After queryng me about my health, he plonked one finger on his nose and with a finger from the other hand made a wide circle around his face and chest.  "Close one eye.  Don't look away from my nose but tell me if you can see my other finger every time I move it.... Can you see my finger now -"

"Yes, " I said.

Now?"

"Yes."

Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"Yes....  Yes...   Yes...

Oops, looks like I wasnt that spectacular with peripheral vision.

Still, he passed me.  Forty-one dollars later, I was on my way to the Automobile Association ($21) to get my new licence.

The following day, in my car, I scraped a motorist's side-mirror.  Oh dear.