Photographers

 Hi there

I want you to imagine the conversation between photographers, paparazzi or whoever is waiting outside The Old Bailey, or the High Court, or where someone has just been sentenced for some really heinous crime - 

"Oi, Bert, when's the van comin' out with the prisoner in it?  I want a photo through a window."

"Yeah, me too.  It'll be worth thousands from The Sun or The Mirror.  Cross fingers, Lord Heathshire gives us a snarl..."

"A naughty gesture..."

"He moons us..."

And why is it, my four dear readers, that even though we always see photographers chasing police vans after a court appearance, and those photographers are frantically snapping their cameras against windows ... we never ever see a photo of the prisoner encased in the vehicle.

The windows are obviously darkened.  Surely, the photographers have realised after years of running alongside the vans, that no photo can be obtainable.  All they will have to show for it, after all that running, puffing, and perfectly imitating the most vehicle-chasing pet labrador, will be half-a-dozen black smudgy photos?

And yet, they still make an attempt for that photo, the one that will bring in millions -

The second the doors from the Court car yard start to swing open, and there's a glimpse of a police van -

"Bert-bert-BERT! There's the van-   Get in there-"

Bert and the other photographers leap into the fray, frantically snapping their cameras.  These guys know they'll never get a good photo but it's a Pavlovian response;  they've been doing this action for so many years that, by now, they don't understand to do anything else...

Bliss their little celebrity-chasing hearts

Sir Sam Neill

Rest in Peace, Sam.  A great kiwi.  A great actor.  A great person.

Matariki Public Holiday in New Zealand

 Hi there

HAPPY MATARIKI!!!  

Wish upon a star (thanks Disney).

Horror!

 Hi there

When I was about sixteen years, I loved going to those Hammer Horror movies, the ones that usually starred Vincent Price.  Then I saw "The Fall of the House of Usher" and I was so scared I ducked down to the floor. I vowed after that movie to never see another horror film as long as I lived.

And I haven't.

So ... I moved over to horror books.  Wow, all those early Stephen King horror books were great. 

Until ....  He wrote "Gerald's Game".

The woman was handcuffed to the bed and couldn't get out of the situation.  Her husband was dead beside her.  And the dog was shut in the house with her....

I vowed never to read another Stephen King book.

And I haven't.

I'm such a wimp...

"Shotgun!"

 Hi there

When I was a kid I loved cowboy movies.  The more intellectual folk called them 'westerns'.  I always wanted to ride 'shotgun' on a stagecoach.  You know, that's the guy sitting beside the man with the reins?  The guy on the lookout for robbers? With a shotgun?

Or woman?  I mustn't forget Calamity Jane in that musical with the same name.  Doris Day as Calamity rode shotgun on a stagecoach.  Goodness, while she was doing it, she even sang about being on "The Deadwood Stage'; talk about versatility?

I rode shotgun on a western stagecoach.  It was years ago.   I was on a guided tour in the USA and we stopped at a replica of a western town.  A stagecoach ride was on offer and I bagged the position up there with the driver.

I didn't have a rifle but that didn't matter. This clattering, bouncy, uncomfortable ride was heaven to me.  I was Audie Murphy, Roy Rogers, Lash LaRue, John Wayne...

In my early teens my father used to drive my friend Shirley and myself to the movies in town.  Every Saturday afternoon. I always held open the car's back door for Shirley to get in first.  I followed her.

After a while Shirley asked me, "Why do you always sit with me in the back seat?  You leave the front seat empty?"

"Because it's polite," I said.  "I can talk to you easier in the back seat."

Shirley shrugged.  I didn't think about that front seat for many years.

Not until a little while back when I was watching TV, and modern characters starting yelling at each other that they wanted to ride 'shotgun'.

Oh ... the phrase meant that you wanted to sit in the front passenger seat of the family car, and because you yelled "shotgun' in advance of your siblings, you got it?

Duh?  It was a modern equivalent of that western stagecoach rider.

Being an only child, I hadn't known that "I bags 'Shotgun'" meant "Get out of my way, Sis, That front seat is mine."  It was a plum prize.

My mother always had that seat, no fighting involved.  And, in that seat, it was easier for her to back-seat drive....

Mid-Winter Swim 2026, Hataitai Beach, Wellington

 Hi there

... and a great time was had by all.

The rain stopped just before the swim started, hooray!

I couldn't attend.  About 40 did.

Our lovely Angelina pulled it off.

MID-WINTER SWIM, HATAITAI BEACH, 2026

 Hi there

MID-WINTER SWIM, HATAITAI BEACH, WELLINGTON

11 am,  SUNDAY  21 JUNE 2026.

be there or be .... dry?