Those AI stories on You Tube?

 Hi there

I've been reading/listening to a few (a lot?) of those silly little (some of them are not so little) revenge stories on You Tube.  They're usually about a poor sad young woman who has a 'golden child' sister.  The sister is spoilt rotten by everyone in the family.  Even after this spoilt sister has bled through her parents' money and naturally, her sister's money, this woman wants more.

There's usually a come-uppance for both the golden child and the parents.  The poor sad sister who by now is a millionaire - many times over = gets her revenge. 

I love to laugh over the words that come up on the screen to replicate the narration.  Here's just a few of the hilarious sentences that I discovered over a three-story listen -

.  The efficient (officiant?) spoke at the ceremony

.  Write (right?) this way sir.  Follow me

.  I'm not paying another scent (cent?)

.  You are not our pier (peer?)

.  She's a 128-year old (28-year old?) and she's made all that money?

.  I stopped so abruptly that no-one (Noah?) bumped into my side.

It's all AI-generated, of course.  And even though the story is told in english there's occasionally an out-of-context word in another language.  And the plotline aways has  mistakes;  it's why I continue diving into the stories.  For chuckles.  For instance, a character might throw her handbag out a window, but a second or so later, she's still sitting at the dining table and rifling through the bag (usually to flourish forth a letter of revelation about how her family have been dipping into her accounts for years).

How sad for real authors who spend such a long time writing a story that's full of emotion, action, realism and originality, to be confronted by these silly copy-cat, mistake-ridden, flat revenge stories?

And how awful that it's taken me so long to realise that I shouldn't be reading them, even if it has been just for fun.

In the future, AI will be able to edit their mistakes out, re-write with more intellect, and the stories will sound natural, plausible.  We will get used to it, and true authors will be no more ...

... unless, that is, the public stands up against the use of AI-generated material.

Another Nelson Holiday

 Hi there

Because my last holiday in Nelson (February) was such a disaster, I decided to give Nelson a second go.  So I went there last week.  Staying at the same place as last time, at Tahunanui Beach.

Five of my seven days there were cloudy.  And cold.  I got in one swim at Tahuna Beach.  A public bus took me to Motueka for a day (a one and a half hour journey each way - free with my senior SuperGold card), and I wandered around the shops there, buying a great sweater at a charity shop.  I also loved the shops in the Nelson CBD.

I ate a lot.  Yum.  

I walked a lot.  Oh no, my knee started to hurt again.  I thought it had healed.

I didn't hire a car.  I couldn't, I don't have a driving licence.  I might get a renewal.  The Transport Department is still deciding whether my eyesight will hold up or not.

 Every day I travelled Nelson by bus.  Every day, with no exceptions the person sitting beside me, or in front of me, or behind me, happily chattered away with me.  I met so many lovely people.

There was a notice in every bus warning passengers not to get up from their seats until the bus had completely stopped.  Once, I forgot and got up just as the bus was gliding into my bus stop.  I swear I heard the combined intake of breaths from everyone in that bus.

"Oops, I'm sorry," I murmured. "I should've waited until the bus stopped...."

"Yes," said my seat mate.  The other half dozen passengers nodded, but everybody was smiling.  I was forgiven, but the message was there, to remember in future.  In Wellington, everybody bounds up from their seats before the bus pulls up to a stop.  Naughty Wellingtonians.

Now .... I would like to ask you, my four readers - and this is to do with buses eventually, I promise - if you've ever come across a comic one-liner that you thought hilarious, and desperately wanted it try it out in real life?  

Well, forty years ago I read a comic retort and have been waiting all that length of time for the exact circumstance to come along where I could bring out the joke, polished and refined, like a pearl or a diamond.  The applause I would get for my performance would be mind-blowing.

The chance came on a Nelson bus last week, on a pouring-with-rain day - 

There were three of us travelling on the bus, four if you counted the driver.  We passengers were wet and cold.  We'd sloshed onto that bus, following in the steps of previous wet-laden passengers. The seats were wet, the floor was wet, the windows were all fogged up.

One guy yelled out to the driver, "It's lovely weather for ducks."

And, finally, after forty years, my moment had come.  "Yeah, they must be quackers," I shouted.

Ba-boom.....

Nobody cheered.  Nobody laughed.

I could only put it down to the fact that after forty years, the word 'crackers' meaning someone was a wee bit crazy had gone out of fashion.  I mean, it couldn't have been the delivery, because I was brilliant.  I mean, I do belong to a seniors improv class....

above: Tahunanui Beach, Nelson.  A cloudy day.  Low tide.

above: I was walking along the Rocks Road from Styx Restaurant to Tahunanui

above: view from the Styx restaurant.

Hooray, my addiction to Diet Coke is over (hopefully)

 Hi there

Well, it's been been five months since I decided to give up my addiction to Diet Coke.  I have tried many times to get rid of this monkey on my back, but the first three weeks of any stopping has always been hell.   Just ask my dentist -

"Lorraine, do not ever - ever - come to get a tooth fixed when you're trying to stay off Diet Coke.  I cannot put up with your grumpiness.  I do not want to hear anymore about how you compare dentists to the worst humans on the planet-"  

And I have never succeeded to break my habit.  For something like thirty years I have been addicted.

 Until now.  Five months free of that addiction.  Repeat, five months.  I hope my four readers appreciate the enormity of this.

But it's been hell trying to find an alternative to Diet Coke.  I don't drink tea or coffee.  Water is so-so, there's no kick to water.  But I do drink it not because I want to but because it's supposed to be, you know, healthy and good for you.

I am trying other drinks -

I'm trying orange juice.  Boring.  But most cafes and restaurants have orange juice in stock.  As they do any type of Coca Cola..

I'm trying diet ginger ale from supermarkets.  Okay.  But no cafes and restaurants have the diet brand in stock.

I'm trying Zero Sugar L&P from supermarkets. Okay.  But no cafes and restaurants have this in stock either. 

I know that if I so much as take a sip of Diet Coke again, I will finish off the bottle. I will once again become an addict. It will be my slippery slope of hell...

Catch Me If You Can - the musical

 Hi there

Yesterday my friend and I went to the Gryphon Theatre in Wellington and saw the local Kauri Theatre production of "Catch Me if You Can - the musical".  It was the stage musical version of the popular book and movie about the young teen guy who robs, forges, steals identities.  While still young he impersonated and lived for a time as an airline pilot, a lawyer, and a hospital doctor. His arch enemy is an FBI detective intent on catching him.

 Leonardo De Caprio starred in the movie version.  I had read the book years before the movie came out, and enjoyed it.

I did have reservations over whether the movie/book could be turned into a good musical. I figured it would be difficult to do.... But the show worked. I loved it. 

All the actors, singers, dancers, musicians, stage lighters, the band, the director couldn't be faulted. The songs fitted into the plotline perfectly. The static set worked like a dream, and the stage size suited the dozen spirited dancers without anyone stepping on toes

 And I do love local productions because the performers always enthusiastically perform their hearts out.

 As we customers entered the building, we were greeted by a plane stewardess who exchanged our theatre tickets for a boarding pass. The foyer in parts resembled an airport-

My face had a wide grin upon it during the entire show. 

My Driving Licence ... Again .... (Sigh)

 Hi there

Well, the doctor signed off on my driving licence.  So did  optomotrist.

Everything was ok to renew my licence.  

I took in the form to the Automobile Association who were handling things on behalf of the Transport Department.

"Oh," said the young woman behind the counter, and looking at the optomotrist's form.  "It says here that you need to be checked out again in a year..."

Uh-oh, she's obviously remembering about the two-year thing...

"When you're ... your age ... Oh, no, she thinks  I'm ancient... driving licences are given out every two years.," she pointed out.

"Yes."

"And for you, your optomotrist says 'one year'"  

"Yes."

'And no night driving'."

Uh-huh."  I had glaucoma, and I'd helpfully written that down too.

"I'll have to ring up the Transport Department," the AA woman said.  And she did.  Some guy at the other end apparently pulled up my info.  There was a discussion, of which I could only hear one side.  It didn't sound too good,

So ... now I was on the Transport Department's watch list?  Great.

And that's how things stand, as of today.  She'd dated the form, signed it and said I'd hear whether I was accepted by Transport for a renewal of my driving licence....

***

At the optomotrist's office I found Tui, the optomotrist's guide-dog-in-training, a Labrador.  Oooh, I went all gooey inside, Tui was one gorgeous doggie.  And I bought a $20 charity 'guide-dog-in-training' plush puppy -

Those Mobile Phone Conversations

 Hi there

There are so many people who walk past me and talking loudly on their phones.  I've always wanted to join in.

Last week, I did join in.

 "Yeah, I really feel frisky, " this guy said loudly into his mobile.

 " Goodness, it's a frisky day for me, too, " I called out.

He looked embarrassed, then grinned widely.

I think I'll join in more mobile phone conversations.  Those loud people deserve my input.  Anyone else interested?  Let's start a habit.

Visit to the Doctor for Driving Licence Renewal

 Hi there

It was time for me to visit the doctor.  To renew my driver's licence.  The nurse and the doctor would be checking on my cognitive skills and my eyesight.  I was stressed out over it.

The nurse greeted me cheerily.  "Hop on the scales," she said.

"My goodness," I mused.  "There's now a law for what weight you have to be to drive a car?"

She looked at me, horrified. She was figuring I had been seriously thinking that.

"I'm joking," I said quickly, hopefully before she thought I was away with the fairies.  Younger people never can believe that older people have a sense of humour.  But I would have to watch my words.

"How many animals can you name in 30 seconds," she said.  "... Go!

I started listing household animals.

I transitioned to farm animals.

Then African animals.

Then birds  (oooh, were birds included as 'animals'?)

Then rodents  (think, lorraine, think!)  :Weasels, stoats, minks....stoles-"

Stoles???  Stoles?  For some reason I was getting muddled up with mink stoles. For goodness sake, I wasn't in a Doris Day or Audrey Hepburn movie...

I was stuck... So busy thinking about mink stoles, I couldn't move on.  My brain went blank for the last couple of seconds before the 30 seconds was up.

Still ... Because I had spoken at a fast speed, I still got 27 out of 30.  22 was average.  Not  many people got the high 30.  I think, because of the stress.

Whoopee, I passed the other cognitive tests too: memorising a full name and address,  drawing a clock face reading 1.05 pm, almost getting the day's date right - I mean, come on, I'm retired.  Retired people rarely know the exact date; they're too happily enjoying the day to worry about a dateline

I failed the doctor's eyesight test, couldn't follow his finger when he drew a big circle in the air. So, I now have to go to an optometrist for an appropriate drivers' eye test.  I may lose my licence.

At no time was I asked anything about road rules...

.