Hi there
Because my last holiday in Nelson (February) was such a disaster, I decided to give Nelson a second go. So I went there last week. Staying at the same place as last time, at Tahunanui Beach.
Five of my seven days there were cloudy. And cold. I got in one swim at Tahuna Beach. A public bus took me to Motueka for a day (a one and a half hour journey each way - free with my senior SuperGold card), and I wandered around the shops there, buying a great sweater at a charity shop. I also loved the shops in the Nelson CBD.
I ate a lot. Yum.
I walked a lot. Oh no, my knee started to hurt again. I thought it had healed.
I didn't hire a car. I couldn't, I don't have a driving licence. I might get a renewal. The Transport Department is still deciding whether my eyesight will hold up or not.
Every day I travelled Nelson by bus. Every day, with no exceptions the person sitting beside me, or in front of me, or behind me, happily chattered away with me. I met so many lovely people.
There was a notice in every bus warning passengers not to get up from their seats until the bus had completely stopped. Once, I forgot and got up just as the bus was gliding into my bus stop. I swear I heard the combined intake of breaths from everyone in that bus.
"Oops, I'm sorry," I murmured. "I should've waited until the bus stopped...."
"Yes," said my seat mate. The other half dozen passengers nodded, but everybody was smiling. I was forgiven, but the message was there, to remember in future. In Wellington, everybody bounds up from their seats before the bus pulls up to a stop. Naughty Wellingtonians.
Now .... I would like to ask you, my four readers - and this is to do with buses eventually, I promise - if you've ever come across a comic one-liner that you thought hilarious, and desperately wanted it try it out in real life?
Well, forty years ago I read a comic retort and have been waiting all that length of time for the exact circumstance to come along where I could bring out the joke, polished and refined, like a pearl or a diamond. The applause I would get for my performance would be mind-blowing.
The chance came on a Nelson bus last week, on a pouring-with-rain day -
There were three of us travelling on the bus, four if you counted the driver. We passengers were wet and cold. We'd sloshed onto that bus, following in the steps of previous wet-laden passengers. The seats were wet, the floor was wet, the windows were all fogged up.
One guy yelled out to the driver, "It's lovely weather for ducks."
And, finally, after forty years, my moment had come. "Yeah, they must be quackers," I shouted.
Ba-boom.....
Nobody cheered. Nobody laughed.
I could only put it down to the fact that after forty years, the word 'crackers' meaning someone was a wee bit crazy had gone out of fashion. I mean, it couldn't have been the delivery, because I was brilliant. I mean, I do belong to a seniors improv class....
