Shop Assistants. Again. And what I should have said....

 Hi there

Years ago, I walked into a posh boutique in the T&G Building on Lambton Quay, here in Wellington.  I was the only customer in this somewhat small establishment.   The woman who I later learnt was the manager was talking to an obviously new member of staff.  As she spoke, she looked right at me. Me, in my I've-just-come-here-straight-from-the-gym-outfit of lycra and hoodie.

"Oh ..." she said to her colleague, but with her eyes boring straight into mine (I was only a few metres away from her), "You must always be on the look-out for shoplifters-" 

Whaaat!!  Was this manager getting at me?  Obviously.

So what did I do?  Well....  I turned around and walked out.  I didn't have a smart and witty comeback.  I'm not a quick thinker.  But I did come up with a few retorts the following day (but only in my mind. I was too scared of the dragon to go back into that particular den) ..

"Goodness, you don't have anything in this store that my fence would be interested in buying."

"Fool, I don't get out of bed to steal anything that's worth less than $10."

"Psst, wanna buy the Hope Diamond?"

"Ive just come from Michael Hill Jeweller. Their stock is so much more stealable.."

"Well-spotted.  Yes I do belong to Shoplifters Anonymous".

"Can I try on this Trelise Cooper designer dress?  Oh, and is that the back door that leads right into the outside alley?  Yes the door that's right beside the changing room?"

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