Hooray, my addiction to Diet Coke is over (hopefully)

 Hi there

Well, it's been been five months since I decided to give up my addiction to Diet Coke.  I have tried many times to get rid of this monkey on my back, but the first three weeks of any stopping has always been hell.   Just ask my dentist -

"Lorraine, do not ever - ever - come to get a tooth fixed when you're trying to stay off Diet Coke.  I cannot put up with your grumpiness.  I do not want to hear anymore about how you compare dentists to the worst humans on the planet-"  

And I have never succeeded to break my habit.  For something like thirty years I have been addicted.

 Until now.  Five months free of that addiction.  Repeat, five months.  I hope my four readers appreciate the enormity of this.

But it's been hell trying to find an alternative to Diet Coke.  I don't drink tea or coffee.  Water is so-so, there's no kick to water.  But I do drink it not because I want to but because it's supposed to be, you know, healthy and good for you.

I am trying other drinks -

I'm trying orange juice.  Boring.  But most cafes and restaurants have orange juice in stock.  As they do any type of Coca Cola..

I'm trying diet ginger ale from supermarkets.  Okay.  But no cafes and restaurants have the diet brand in stock.

I'm trying Zero Sugar L&P from supermarkets. Okay.  But no cafes and restaurants have this in stock either. 

I know that if I so much as take a sip of Diet Coke again, I will finish off the bottle. I will once again become an addict. It will be my slippery slope of hell...

Diet Cola Spurts

 Hi there

You all know, of course, that I am a Diet Coke addict.  Have been for years.  Yes, yes, I've tried to get off it many times.  Alas....  It always takes me about three weeks to give up the drink, and during that time I am grumpy, horrible, and everyone around me cowers behind furniture.

It's bad enough silently revealing to seated strangers surrounding me in cafes that I'm a Diet Coke addict whilst everyone else is demurely drinking flat whites or fancy teas with exotic names ... but to have a public coke incident, like the incident I had last week in front of a couple of dozen people is the pits (of all pits).

"Here's your Coke, dear."  The cafe assistant plonked the bottle down at my table.  

(side question:  why do retired women always get called 'dear' by shop and cafe workers?)

"Thanks," I said.   I reached over for my glass.

Whoops ....  My fingers accidentally flicked the side of the bottle.

The Diet Coke bottle flew up through the air.  It did the most beautiful one-and-a-half somersault that would most definitely have gained first place in any Cola Olympics.  Coke spurted out from that bottle.  Over the floor.  The walls, the table....   Me.

I couldn't apologise enough.  A woman bustled over , mop and cloth in hand.  I apologised all the way through the clean-up.

"I'm happy," she said.  "I'm retiring next week."

But this embarrassing incident wasn't my only Diet Coke spillage, even though I admit that it was my most spectacular.  The month before, I'd spilt it over my bedroom carpet.  Thank goodness I was getting rid of that carpet over the next few months.

But a week after my cafe spillage, I did it again...  I was watching tv in the lounge, then leaned over to the side table for my Diet Coke.

The Coke flew straight out from the glass, in an absolutely straight line, for about four metres.  

Over my brand new carpet.

"How did you clean it up?" asked one of my friends at my senior improv group.  "You didn't use hot water, did you?"

"Well, yes, I did.  Why?  Shouldn't I have?"

Everyone shook their heads and tsk-tsked.  I'd done the unthinkable.

"Cold water works," said one friend.

"So does soda water," said May.  "Drink Soda Water instead.  You can kill two birds with one stone.  Not only can you drink soda water, but it's self-cleaning if you have an accident.  Win-win..."

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