Saturday, July 5, 2025

TYPIST-IN-CHARGE, Customs Department - Episode 20, 1978

Hi there

Typist-in-Charge, Typing Room, Customs Department Head Office, PSIS Building, Whitmore Street, Wellington


Whaaaaat???!!!!

I had arrived as the new Typist-in-Charge at Customs.  But within two minutes of my admin boss walking back out through the typing pool door, Mavis was confronting me with a we-don't-want-you-in-the-pool-leave-now-but-no-hard-feelings speech.

Apparently Senior Typist, Edith - who hadn't as yet said a word to me - should have my job.  Edith had been doing the in-charge job for a month before my arrival.  The dozen girls in the pool knew Edith well. They wanted Edith. Edith was their comfort zone, their security blanket.

No-one said a word.  Everyone looked over to me.  Me, sitting in the typist-in-charge seat.  Me, lording it behind the typist-in-charge desk   I was such a pesky annoyance.  And if (obviously power-behind-the-throne) Mavis had her way, I would be out, Edith in.

My mind swept back to the various supervisor seminars the bosses had sent me to over the years:  I had to keep my cool....  Oh, no.   Me, keeping my cool?  Me?

Um...

I kept my voice low, tried to gently point out to the typists how sorry I was about the circumstances, that the in-charge position was such-and-such grade and I'd worked my way through various grades to get to it.  And that Edith, as a senior typist, was quite a few grades beneath this position's level.

They didn't care a jot, most everyone chipped in.  They wanted me gone.  They wanted Edith, full stop.

The back and forth went on for about half-an-hour.  Do not lose my temper... Do not lose my temper ..  Do not lose my temper ..  Or, more importantly: Do not start crying ....  Do not start crying ...  Do not start crying ...

Never before have I had to bury my true feelings to such a deep recess of my mind.  I was shaking inwardly, I wanted to run from these inquisitors.  Heck, as the moaning went on... and on... I wanted to jump on the desk - it looked strong enough to hold me -  and scream out for this pack of wolves to bloody well put up with me, or get out!

Well, when I figured the pack had reached some level of exhaustion, I turned to my right.  "Edith," I said, with what I hoped was a calming voice. "Could you run me through the work for today please."  I ignored Mavis.

The typists returned to their work too.  It became like any other typing pool I had been in, with the low click-clack keystrokes of basic electric typewriters being the only sound.  

But I could feel the tension underlying everything. 

My in-pool job was to check all finished work that the typists placed on my desk before it was sent out to Customs officers.  I read through the typing, marking mistakes, and putting the good work into the 'Out' tray to be picked up over the course of the day.  If the job had been marked 'urgent',  I would ring up the writer for collection.  The phone on my desk was the only phone in this room of 13 people.

I spotted the under-the-eyelashes stares, and surreptitious side-eye glances reaching me from all corners. Mavis was click-clacking on the room's only IBM Golfball, like her fingers were on fire.  This over fifty-year-old woman was obviously the fastest in the room.  And, as it turned out, the most accurate.  She had only returned to the work force over the last few years and as she proudly pointed out to me at a later date, ".. because I wanted something to do, not because my husband and I need the money."


above: 2025 photo.  Customs building, also known as PSIS (Public Service Investment Society) Building.



That afternoon, Edith came to me, clutching a sheaf of papers.  "We have to tot up these figures weekly," she explained. 

Uh-oh, I recognised them: Time and Motion forms where typists had to mark out how many jobs they did per day.  We'd had them years ago at Education, as had every govt department.  Because they proved to be so impractical (see earlier chapter), they had been abandoned.  I had never been in a position before to follow all the mathematics involved with the finalisation of the process,  Oh, Mrs Rowley, why aren't you here when I need you?

Never-ever-even-on-my-deathbed-would-I-have-divulged-my-secret, let alone to anyone at Customs, but I had been diagnosed with Dyscalculia.  This meant I had trouble understanding anything to do with numbers.  When a shopkeeper counted out change into my hand, I tried to look intelligent.  I could count to 10 on my fingers but pound notes, inches, feet came in twelves, so that sank me.  If I wanted to find out the total of 50 x 20 I would have to twenty times write down the figure '50' on a sheet of paper and add it up that way, and on my fingers.  I couldnt understand times-tables, or do long-division.  Fractions killed me - how on earth could one-third be more than one-quarter?  Whenever a number was in front of me or I was required to add up anything mentally, my mind started to jumble around until my brain turned into a big black NOTHING!

Because of my non-arithmetic skills I was held back a year when I reached Standard 1, at about age 6,  and this was after skipping primer 4 where sums weren't even  an issue.  All through my school days I was bottom of every maths class.  Way, way down the bottom.  Dyslexia was not understood in those days, so why on earth would dyscalculia be an issue?

Sitting school typing tests, and later Public Service Typing Exams, and Trades Certification Board typng papers, I couldn't add up the money columns in confused manuscripts - which had usually been purposely totalled up wrong - so I just made up any total.  Better to lose one point for that mistake than spend half the exam time trying to work out the problem. 

So......?   Here I was, Edith by my side, in the Customs Department typing pool and trying to make sense over her explaining to me about the involvement of long division, and multiplications, and moving this figure over here, and that one over there, and don't forget this number, and how many typists had put this, and had  they really meant this.....? 

".....and once you've found out how many hours the typists have worked over the week, and the stuff that goes with it, you're all done," said Edith.  

Oh.

 Edith had done the job for me this week, it had taken her over half an hour.  But what about next week?  And the week after that?  My future?

'Thanks, Edith."  I beamed." Looks good. ".  No.  the situation looked bad.

'Oh, Edith," sing-songed Mavis from my other side.  "Don't forget to tell Lorraine to take the results upstairs- "

 ... to the Director of Administration.

I knocked on his open door and stepped into the room -

"Hi, everything going okay?" he asked.

"Fine.  I've brought you the time and motion results for the past week."

"Good.  Good."  He absently tossed them aside.

"Um...?"  I hesitated. "Every other department got rid of those results several years ago."

"They did?"

"Yes."

"Oh.  Okay."  He threw the result page into his waste basket.   "Anything else?"

No.  Nothing.  Nothing at all -

Back in the typing pool, I announced , "I got rid of the time and motion business.  We don't have to fill out the forms anymore." 

Silence.

Then -

Whoops and happy shrieks rang throughout the room. Mavis and Edith were smiling.  Even a Customs officer who had been standing over a frazzzled typist as she finished his ministerial - a big no-no - appeared to understand the pool's enthusiasm.  He applauded.  

Mavis said, "Well, thank goodness for that.."

And so ended my first day at Customs Head Office.  It haunted me for years.


*****
 

2025:  At my senior improv group, we were asked to do a short piece about a day that we had spent at work that affected us.  I chose the above story, dyscalculia and all.  During the last part where I had happily raced back to the pool with the decision, we improv typists broke out into the can-can dance, singing and laughing.  And you know what? -  I got my closure.

















Saturday, June 28, 2025

A visit to the dentist - ow, ow, ow.....

 Hi there

For goodness sake, wasn't it bad enough that I was just getting over a second bout of plantar fasciitis (bad heel),and that I was halfway through the anguish associated with a sprained knee of the other leg, as well as a bad neck because I slept the wrong way a couple of weeks before?  But now ...  Now I'd broken a tooth!

You. my four readers (maybe five?)  may remember that I am petrified of dentists?  And that it all traces back to when I went to the Wellington Dental Clinic as a kid.  

Because I kicked up such a fuss, the Clinic dental nurses threatened to put me in The Blue Room.   Now I'd no idea what The Blue Room was about, but in my little 8 year old mind, I imagined a completely dark-as-midnight place with a naked blue light bulb on the ceiling.  I had nightmares over that for years.  I also had nightmares over the witch in Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", and the wicked witch in "The Wizard of Oz", but they're both for revelations on some future blog... maybe....

This time, my dentist managed to fit me in the morning after The Big Chomp Down that broke my tooth.  I trudged into the dental room like I was going to my own execution.  I could only think of that dentist in "Little Shop of Horrors" who sang about having found the perfect job for his sadistic tendencies.


above: Steve Martin, dentist "Little Shop of Horrors".  The movie

The second I got into the dental chair, my dentist brought out her phone.  "I've got a new kitten," she said.  The pride for her new house-mate shone out from her eyes.  She was rushing home in her lunch-hours, she said, to play with the little cherub.

It was a fluffy baby birman.  And so adorable.  The dentist and I peered down at maybe fifty photos, as well as an absolutely gorgeous video.  I felt better.  Well...kittens, yeah?   Awwwwwww.....

She promised me that my dentalwork wouldnt hurt as much as I was fearing..

And you know what?   Even the injections weren't too painful.  Maybe it was because my mind was still full of pictures of one bouncy little kitten.  

I think it was old-timer US comedian Shelley Berman who in a "A Visit to the Dentist" said that the dentist "emptied the whole damn drawer into my mouth".  ... For me - at one point - it truly did feel like that.  

But on the whole, the pain of having my broken tooth built up again was .... tolerable.  

What wasn't so tolerable was the $NZ440 bill...



PS:   

Conversation with my Dentist:

Dentist:  We read a book on good names for cats. I'd never heard of the name  before, but we came up with 'Freya'.

Me:  Like the goddess?

Dentist:  (astounded). How did you know that?

Me:  because I'm old.  I know everything.

 





Saturday, June 21, 2025

Finished Swim

 Hi there

Sunday 22,  shortest day swim.  Hataitai Beach

Been there, done that ... I'm happy!

Beautiful day.  Water flat-ish.    One of our regulars - Grecian Goddess - was in a tiny bikini.  Brrrrhhh, we applaud you, girl....   Zito!


There might be more pictures to come.  You know me, I'm terrible taking photos.  I couldn't get my camera to work...  But others stepped in and took photos for me.....  Thanks guys.

There were up to 40 swimmers there today.  Different estimates as to how many..   Swimmers came and left over a 30 minute period.

......


Here's another couple photos, hot off the press,from a regular swimmer:





Thursday, June 19, 2025

Down with the pollution notice Hataitai Beach

 Hi there

Today in NZ it is Friday, Matariki Day.  Maori New Year.




above...  : Matariki star cluster.  can be seen close to dawn.


***

After lots of emails and phone calls with departments who have all been saying "taking down the Hataitai Beach pollution notice is not our responsibility", we finally got the notices taken down.  The notices  should have been taken down on 29 May, a few days after the storm we had at that time.

Unfortunately, the seawall works and roadworks are still there.  Fo!low the gravel maze to the beach deck.

We discovered today that when it's a high tide the actual beach disappears.  Tough luck beach-goers come next summer.  Did anyone check on the outcome of building this seawall?

The shortest day swim is Sunday 22nd.  11 30 am.  Hataitai Beach 



Saturday, June 14, 2025

The only 2 jokes I know.....

 Hi there

I've never been able to remember jokes.  I do so admire people who can tell jokes, especially Shaggy Dog jokes that go on... and on... and on...

I only have two joke. They're short and I learned them from a comedian on stage at the Victoria Palace Theare in London, way back in 1967.

1.

 "Did you hear the one about the two cows in the paddock?  :--


One anxious cow said to the other, "Goodness, Look at that bull over there!  Do you think he's  going to charge--?"

The other cow said, "I hope not.  I've only got 50 cents...."


2.

Did you hear the one about the two stallions in the paddock?-


One stallion said to the other, "I didn't get a wink of sleep last night.  I had a nightmare...."




Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Mid-winter Swim, Hataitai Beach, 11 30 am, Sunday 22 June 2025

 Hi there

The beach should-maybe-hopefully be cleared of the roadworks (and the wrongfully-put-up pollution notice) by Sunday 22 June.   Warning: the roadworks are in maze form but you really can get to the changing sheds, deck, and toilets.  Parking further away than normal.

So, don't forget:  Mid-Winter Swim, Hataitai Beach, Sunday 22 June, 2025 11 30 a.m 

Oh, and it's Matariki Weekend, and because of it being a public holiday, it's understood if many regulars cannot make it.



As things stand, it's a wet or fine weather swim, but if the weather is absolutely terrible, look on this blog a couple of hours before swim.  Hey, remember a couple of years back when it was pouring and the weather freezing and still the beach regulars showed up?  Brrrrhhh.

......


above: 2016..  Our mid-winter swim  L to r: Jay, The Young One, me, Tee-oh.    Looks like Tee-oh and me are the last of the originals; we're still going.  The Young One moved but she will try to get here for our swim this month.  Jay is now in Care...



me -  2015  Our mid-winter swim : Jay and I took turns wearing the polar bear snuggle for photos.   By this time, we'd been mid-winter swimming for quite a few  years.  Only us.  Until The Young One and Tee-Oh joined us. It was about another 3 or so years before The Little Mermaid hooked up for winter swimming. After Covid, lots more joined in and now it's winter whoopee ...

***

Thank you, Jay, for first of all coming up with certificates for the pair of us all those years ago, and then later the magnets - that you happily paid for - as more and more mid-winter swimmers joined us.   We've handed magnets out for many years.  

This year will be the last of the magnets as Jay is now indisposed and her son got this year's magnets done for her (under instructions!)   Thinking of you, Jay.  I still have fun remembering all those past swims.  Jay remembers when I rang her up one winter morning, and she proclaimed, "But I've just looked out the window; there's icicles hanging from the eaves...."  Well, we still went swimming that morning...



Sunday, June 8, 2025

King's Birthday Weekend 2025

 Hi there

stock photo

 Last weekend, here in New Zealand, was King's Birthday Weekend.  We got a holiday to officially celebrate the monarch's birthday (2 June).  Of course, it's not his real birthday, just as it wasn't the Queen's real birthday.  I must admit that after Queen's Birthday Weekend was a holiday for something like 70 years, it was difficult for most New Zealand citizens to talk about King's Birthday Weekend - 

"Oi, Maisie, what are you doin' this Queen's Birthday Weekend?"

"Oh for goodness sake, Mum,, it's King's Birthday Weekend.  "King's, King's, King's...."

All of those sales tv adverts had to be changed for the first King's Birthday weekend.  In the past, stores would regurgitate tired commercials of corgis and queenly stick figures to sell their wares.  But then those ads were dumped without ceremony, and kingly animation ads appeared..

There's always rumblings about New Zealand sacking the monarchy and going republic.  Obviously the holiday will disappear...

But hang on,... maybe the powers-that-be are thinking ahead ... 

A few years' back, New Zealand brought in Matariki Weekend.  Matariki is a cluster of stars that signifiy a start of the Maori New Year.  It's always in June , on a Friday, and this year the holiday is on Friday 20th.  Matariki is probably more relevant to kiwis than King's Birthday.

But could Matariki be read as a substitute for a future deletion of King's Birthday Weekend, so as not to anger the NZ public who don't give a fig whose day it is as long as they get a holiday in June?  

And while we're at it, what other public holidays could be dumped as their true meaning disappears?  Christmas might evolve into some day in December called 'Santa Claus Day'?.  And Easter? - Ooooh, how about 'Bunny Day'?*


*Sarcastic much?