The wearing of the cardigan.

 Hi there

When I was a young teen, every female seemed to be wearing a cardigan.  Except me.  To me, cardigans denoted growing up.  Growing old.  Getting older.  I vowed never to wear a twinset and pearls which was all the rage for our mums.  A twinset was a matching sweater and cardigan.  And people used to think it was the height of fashion to add those pearls.  Whaaaat...!

above: stock photo

But the years have gone by and ...guess what?  I'm wearing cardigans!  Never with done-up buttons and never-never with pearls. 

But I'll tell you something that has begun to intrigue me:  often when I watch a home renovation show, or a gardening show, or a posh-people-holdaying-in-the-Hamptons show, the women love to wear cardigans or sweaters tied around their hips.  The funny thing is that these women are never seen actually wearing the cardigans or sweaters.

Is cardigan hip-wearing a fad?  Never worn, but always seen?  "Oh, don't I look great?" think the bored-stressed-angry-vindictive-jealous housewives of such-and-such city.   "I'll just tie my cardy around my hips and the peasants will throw hosannas and confetti at my feet.  I'm so fashion-forward."

Am I the only person in the world who realises that the moment a cardy is tied around the hips, the wearer suddenly has a big broad bottom.  The only time I decided to follow the trend and tie my cardy across my backside, I peered over my shoulder into the mirror, and was horrified.

I had the biggest hips, waist, and bottom...

XXX

Oh yes, I know I sound an idiot, going on about big bums ... But I denied myself much food for so many years - from age 13 until I retired - and it  became so ingrained in my brain that even now I have trouble getting away from some such thoughts about my size.

At that age of 13, I tore off the bottom half of a photo of me at the beach because my thighs were too big.  When I was in my early twenties I refused to take vitamin tablets that my mum was foisting on me because they were sugar-coated.  During my last years at work, just before retirement, I would fast-chew a cupcake or donut, and then spit it out.  

At retirement I realised I'd never ever bought a block of chocolate or a bag of potato chips, never tasted cheesecake, brownies, or lemon meringue pie, always refused sauces of any kind ...

Diets hadn't often worked anyway...

So, I threw out my scales, bought a bag of potato chips and a crunchie bar.  

And I try so hard to never look back...