Other Car Drivers

 Hi there

I look upon myself as an average motorist, but the weird thing is that lots of other drivers think I'm as brilliant in driving as they are!

I know this because ...

when a driver jettisons from the fast lane into my slower lane on the motorway and doesn't use an indicator, I have to - with alacrity - rein in my car to allow their car to fit in line.  Wow, that hotshot must trust my driving implicitly to pull such a stunt: they think I'm a champion behind the engine?  I'm not.

There's only so many times I can screech to a halt when a car barrels out from nowhere at a crossroads. Obviously the official mantra of "The Top of the 'T' goes before me" doesn't rate a second thought by the motorist who knows everything. They are one hundred percent certain that I truly am as brilliant a driver as they are, that I can stop on a dime to protect their life.

My  three-point turns are steady but I'm learning fast that some courier drivers can't wait for me to finish the turn as they squeeze around my car. I appreciate their paranormal powers in knowing that I will be able to finish the turn before their front wheels so much as kiss my tyres but, honestly, I'm not psychic myself;  I'm no good at predicting where they're coming from as they shoot around me from nowhere.

So come on you drivers who think you're Bert Munro on four wheels ...  could you bring in your elbow from the side window please,  stop looking at your phone at the Himatangi turn-off, and don't suddenly double park in front of me just as the lights turn green.  I'm flattered you think that I, too, am brilliant at driving in all situations but ... truth be told, I don't think I am.  You're over-estimating my driving talents, and next time I might not be so quick at picking up what you're recklessly trying to do on that dangerous corner or motorway...