Plane passengers

 Hi there.

On Friday night, I flew back from Australia.  I was sitting in my aisle seat, minding my own business, half asleep, when this guy in the seat in front of me leapt up.  

He was a broad man, elderly, with a bushy white beard. He looked like Father Christmas -

"Stop kicking my seat," he thundered down  at me.

Whaaat???

"I'm... I'm not kicking your seat.". (Me, timidly.)

" You are!  Stop it!  (Him, still thundering.)

"I would never kick anybody's seat," I said.

With one last glare, the guy stomped off to the front of the plane.

Again, Whaaat????

Of course, everyone sitting in the vicinity perked up.  Here was some excitement to cut out the boredom of long distance flying. 

I just wish I could have come back with some pithy retort, but I had turned into a deer in front of headlights sort of person.  I sat there, mortified.

About five minutes later, the guy returned.  He leaned down to me. I stared straight ahead at the tv screen that I'd never turned on.

"I want to apo!ogise," he said.

And yet again, Whaaaat???

"I understand now that it was turbulence.  I'm sorry -"

Talk about theatrics of the air...