Those house-buying shows...

 Hi there

I love a few reality tv shows, especially ones from HGTV that show people attempting to buy or rent homes in different countries.  I try to guess which abode the viewers will end up with.

For quite a while I was flummoxed that these house viewers, be they in Great Britain, the Americas, or anywhere else on that side of the world always wanted a south-facing back garden to benefit from the sun.  I mean, come on, the northern aspect was best for the sun, yes?

 Eventually, it clicked:   I live in the southern hemisphere!  Of course, the two hemispheres are opposite.  I am so embarrassed.

Back to those housing programmes that I watch religiously...  How come every solitary house searcher, over and over again, is searching for: -

.  space for entertainment (No 1, all the time)

.  granite countertop (usually 1st equal)

.  gas stove 

.  huge master bathroom with twin sinks

.  water view

.  fire pit (illegal in urban NZ)

.  room for that super-duper American-king-sized bed. 

Another thing required by every home-searcher in a (to them) foreign land is 'charm".  When in Britain or The Netherlands they blather on about how rustic charm is the most important thing on their 'to buy' list.  

These people squeal with joy over the outside of a chocolate-box-looking English Tudor cottage, or a thin four-level canal-side house in Amsterdam.  Yet once inside -

 "Oh, this won't do, I'm banging my head on the rafters-"

 "I couldnt even swing a mouse in this room-"

" What -?  I have to climb all those stairs-!!!?? "

 .  "Where's the dish-washer?  I can't buy a place without a dishwasher-"

.  "But I said I wanted crown moulding-"

 "I don't care if the kitchen was recently renovated, it has to be re-done; I don't like brown cabinets -" (..but, honey, you can't cook, we always go out for meals").

.  "I have to walk fifteen minutes to town?  No-no-nooo... "

.  "The whole place will have to be gutted to suit my aesthetic sensibilities- "

My four (maybe five?) readers may remember I once wrote about taking a swig of Diet Coke every time "granite countertop" was mentioned?  I drank the entire 1.5 litre bottle in an afternoon session. What fun!

 I think I love these American-produced HGTV programmes because they are unintentionally hilarious. I wonder if the house-searchers are being paid for such comedic dialogues?

And how come if even one of their 'wants' is not in the house they're walking through, then these people are prepared to run away from a good purchase?   I certainly wouldn't turn down the house of my dreams because it didn't have a fire pit or a granite countertop.

Mind you, I might sprint out the gate if I wasn't going to be near a supermarket or a bus stop...

.  

.