Sunday, October 18, 2026

Beware of breakfast buffets (but only if you are near the baked beans)

 Hi there

I was at a hotel breakfast buffet last week, looking down at what was on offer.  I thought that okay, yes, I was going for scrambled eggs.  The eggs were in a deep warming container, right next to an almost empty container of baked beans.

I hated baked beans.  Baked beans always reminded me of that farting scene in the spoof western movie, "Blazing Saddles".

Just as I was scooping out my scrambled eggs, a chef arrived and dumped a whole  bowl of baked beans into the baked beans container.  Actually, it was more liquid orange than beans.

With a nonchalant who-cares action, the chef tossed a soup ladle into the beans container - a toss, incidentally, that if Baked-Beans-Ladle-Throwing been an Olympic sport, this guy would have won a gold medal for it.

In magnificent synchronisation, a half dozen splashes shot out from the bean container, right into my hair, onto my sweater, and across my face.

 "Hey," I called out, after the guy's retreating back.  He didn't even look around. I wiped my eyes and shook out my hair.  Bright orange liquid was rapidly blending in with my sweater of almost  the same colour.

It wasn't until I rushed back to my hotel room (oops, did I forget to mention I was in  New Plymouth again?) that I faced a mirror.

Oh no ...  I was an Oompa-Loompa.

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