Friday, August 11, 2023

Um..

 Hi there


I've mentioned before how I don't particularly like it when shop assistants comment rapturously on something I'm wearing, in an effort to create a bond with me.  Anything for a sale, eh?

Well, last week I went to the doctor for a renewal of my eyedrops.

 "I like your bag," he said.

 "Um...".  Perhaps he'd just finished reading the 2023  edition of "The Desk-Side Doctor's Handbook - how to bond with your patient". 

It's a companion piece to "The Counter-Side Shop Assistant's Handbook".  And the "Kerb-Side Postie's Handbook".  And others....




just kidding; there are no such handbooks.  Maybe....?


Wednesday, August 2, 2023

TYPIST-IN-CHARGE, Episode 15

 EDUCATION DEPARTMENT, HEAD OFFICE, GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS, 1975-ish


above:  ground floor typing room was north (left) side of the building, out of vision.

I was back!  Back in Govt Bldgs on Lambton Quay, back under the guiding arm of Mrs Rowley, the supervising typist who had mentored me since I joined this department in 1960.  I had truly loved working at Health Regional Office, not-so-much the Curriculum Development Unit, but all of that was in the past .... I was home!!

But not in Room 305 typing pool.  Or even Room 206.  I was in a new pool on the ground floor.  The department was expanding and, here I was, pride-of-place, Typist-in-Charge of seven (count 'em, seven).  Was I scared?  On that first day, you bet I was.  I girded my loins and pushed open the door -

The typists in this pool worked for sections on the ground and first floors (first and second floors, if you're American).  Maori Education Foundation and UNESCO were our main customers.

Mr Joliffe ( many years later he was fifty-percent of the first couple to get an official civil union pairing in New Zealand) was a head honcho at Maori Education Foundation.  The Foundation was responsible for giving grants and bursaries to students.  Often we typists saw applicants as they came in for interviews.

"Guess what-?" said Maureen as she burst into the room.  Maureen was in her forties.  Her children had now left the house so she had come back to typing, and finding it a little difficult getting the hang of a basic electric machine rather than an old manual one.  This woman did love her gossip.   "I was introduced to a new applicant.  She's blonde and blue-eyed."

" Going for a job in UNESCO?" asked Megan, a young British immigrant, working her two year stint, and only been in the country a few months.  Megan was the best typist in the room.  Heck, she was the best typist I'd ever come across.  She was so perfect, she could have apprenticed Mary Poppins.  Only have I ever come across two absolutely perfect typists in my entire typist career, and Megan was one of them.  Never a typo brought back for this girl.  It was the bosses who made the mistakes, changing their minds again and again and again.  With a sigh we would have to retype what had been a perfect page, trying desperately to jam in the extra sentence an officer had added.  We could do this by raising, dropping or widening margins or - here's a serious no-no -  the squashing of some letters together (the lower-case 'l' was probably the only alphabet letter a typist could get away with squashing).  Otherwise it could be many pages that would have to be retyped, just for that one sentence. 

"No, no-"  Maureen was all agog:   "The girl's here for a grant from MAORI EDUCATION FOUNDATION."

Mmmmm....  We pondered the fact that a blonde blue-eyed young woman was applying for a grant from MEF.



"She speaks fluid Maori," said Maureen.  "She can trace her roots back a century.  A great grand-father was a chief...."

After a time, an Islands Education Foundation also opened up on the ground floor.  Many young polynesian teens were brought over to New Zealand for schooling.  They were given some money to buy clothes.  However, as these young people had never come across cold, windy, wild New Zealand winters, the clothes they ended up buying were terribly inappropriate for that season.  Soon remedied though, and the students were given snuggly-warm winter coats.  Lesson learned by our officers.

In the pool, we also dealt with Pitcairn Island, the place where the historic mutineeers of 'The  Bounty' ended up.   I loved reading the newsy information sheet about the island.  It was a wee bit reminiscent of the writings by my Medical Officer of Health at Health RO: gossip galore.  A teacher had been sent over to the island.

The head of our UNESCO office was a lovely person, vibrant and intelligent.  She went over to India on a business trip, and brought me back a ring that she'd picked up at the markets.  She'd known I liked rings, the gaudier the better -


One day she came bursting into the typing room with two prints of etchings in her arms.  They had been signed and dated by the artist.  She whispered the price to us. We were horrified by how expensive they were.   Maybe about $80 each.

Megan raised her eyebrows to me.  "Prints?" she mouthed.  "For that price?"  And I remembered the time when Miss Hopkins from room 305  (and now truly retired)  had brought in a framed print of Van Gogh's Starry Night from the gallery on Lambton Quay, and she hanged it on the typing room wall.

"The man in the gallery said I could bring it here and see if it suited our wall," she proclaimed.   "I'll buy it for us, if we all like it."   We typists huddled around her, ooohing and ahhhing over the picture. Yes, we'd have it!  But then the Admin Officer walked into the room and said no way could Miss Hopkins buy the print.  Tch, tch, it was not allowed.  Sadly, Miss H took it back to the shop.  We would have to stick to our boring faded prints of early Victorian New Zealand.

We mostly delivered our typing, giving a curt knock on the door, and placing a completed typing job right in the middle of a desk if the officer wasn't present.

I liked to walk along the wide lengthy corridor that went from the north entrance of Government Buildings through the building to the south entrance. I imagined I was in some english country mansion swanning along a long gallery.  Halfway along the corridor, beside the post office, there was the building's elegant foyer and main entrance.  This area had not been used in years, but painters were now working on the walls in preparation for a re-opening.  They were hurriedly packing up their gear - 

"What's up?" I asked.

"Asbestos," said the foreman.

"What's that?"

I went back to the typing room and told the others.  We'd never heard of asbestos, and when I relayed everything that the painter had told me, the typists were horrified.

Especially Maureen.   Like me, she was a bit of a scaredy-cat.  One day I said to her, with a shudder,  "Is there still a mouse problem in the walls?"

"What?"  She leapt out of her typing chair so fast that the chair's castors spun her chair halfway across the room.  Good thing she had not tried to stand on it.

I told her that a few years' back mice were often found in waste-paper baskets, fat and helpless to get out again once they'd gorged themselves on peanut-butter sandwiches and the like.

"Mr Ivers from Records pulled them out by their tails and flushed them down the toilets."

Maureen vowed to always look down into the Government Buildings' toilets from then on.  I think she was scared of the appearance of some weird mutant-like monster mouse peering back up at her.

Poisons were brought in.  Some mice died in the walls.  The smell had been awful.

But now ... 

... there came a typing shake-up.  Our typing style was changed.  It was decreed from the State Services Commission (all bow down!) that typists would save a high percentage of typing time by not indenting paragraphs.  Or including much punctuation.  Or capitals.  On the day of changeover, an officer raced into the pool-

"Who's the left-handed typist?" he demanded to know.

We tried to keep straight faces, but he waved a typed letter at us.  The block paragraphs flummoxed him, but it was the signing-off that shook him -

Yours sincerely

J D Brown
Director-General of Education
per
 

Gone were the full stops after the initials, the comma after each line and the colon after 'per'.  We still kept 'Yours sincerely' if it started with 'Dear Mr Smith' and 'Yours faithfully' if it started with 'Dear Sir'.  However the addressee's name and address, along with the date, were moved across to the left too.

Oh dear, the officer was so confused.  In the body of a letter we would previously type phrases such as "The Commission said...".  This would now be "The commission said...", unless you were typing "The State Services Commission said...".  He just couldn't get his head around the new style.  Neither could most of the officers or, at least, the ones who hadn't read Mrs Rowley's memo advising about change-over day. And this was most of the staff.

Probably, the new way of typing was a direct result to the time-testing all govt department typists had been doing for several years.  Each morning we had been given a scrap of paper and every job we typed - be it short, long, or even an envelope - necessitated us crossing off strokes of five (like a prisoner crossing off days on a cell wall). What a rumpus this caused -

"I've typed 50 envelopes.  Hoorah, I've put down fifty strokes.  I win today - !"

"Oh, no, I've just finished a job of 90 pages.  It's taken two days.  I have one stroke to put down-"

"Mr Evans has brought back his ministerial.  Yet again!  He's changed his mind so many times.  Why aren't we allowed to rub out on letters signed by the minister (side-note:  notice the small 'm').  I can only class this as one job-"

Thankfully, with the advent of the new typing style, filling out the daily forms became a thing of the past...

Mrs Rowley had amended her "Typists' Guidebook" to include all the new changes.  The 'book'  included any typing problem that could ever arise for her 'girls'.  We even knew how to address the mayoralty, members of parliament (all parties), how to correctly spell "milage" (not "mileage") - the daily newspaper somehow picked up this mileage/milage decision and gleefully mentioned it in a column).  

The "Typists' Guidebook" was handed out to all the officers.

It didn't make their handwriting any better...



Saturday, July 29, 2023

Calamity Jane, the movie musical (1953)

 Hi there


Last week, I went to the Roxy in Miramar, Wellington, to see the old movie musical "Calamity Jane". starring Doris Day and Howard Keel.  I had seen it lots of times before and loved it.   I also know that Doris Day had been miffed that she'd never got the lead role in "Annie Get Your Gun" so her studio had written "Calamity Jane" especially for her.

It shows.  This movie is truly a knock=off of "Annie Get Your Gun". Some songs could even have been considered replicas from that movie.  "I Can Do Without You" appeared to be a copy of "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better" from  "Annie Get Your Gun".  When Day was singing about how she "just blew into the windy city...",  I realised that I was confusing it with "Everything's up-to-date in Kansas City" from the 1940s stage musical  (movie 1955) of "Oklahoma!"  Looks like the writers cribbed from several shows.

Still...  the songs, by themselves, stood up pretty well, considering the movie was - what? - about 70 years old.  

The rest of the movie was... cringeworthy..   The second I got home, I went straight to my DVD collection (which has laid dorment for about ten years) and got rid of  "Calamity Jane". 

Calamity shoots to kill "Redskins" and "Injuns".  She's riding shotgun on top of a stagecoach,  I mean, come on, these native Americans are on horses, and with mostly lances and spears; how much of a chance do they honestly have against Calamity's deadeye aim?

In another scene Wild Bill Hickock (Howard Keel) dresses up as a squaw with a papoose on his back (a bit of a copycat scene from "Annie Get Your Gun" where a dressed-up Betty Hutton sings "'I'm an Indian too").  Later on, Doris Day gets spooked by a drugstore wooden "Injun" and draws her guns, much to the amusement of the townspeople.

Sidebar:  I came across a replica life-size sculpture at a candy franchise store in Hollywood about eight years ago.  Instead of feathers in his headdress, he had candy sticks.  I was so horrified I wrote a scathing review about the place.  When I went back to the store a couple of years later, the wooden sculpture was gone.

In "Calamity Jane", the backgrounds were obviously studio settings.  Even when the settings were 'outside', the areas were pristine and perfect, as were the stars themselves.  Day rolled up in perfectly pressed trousers and a modern persil-white blouse that I don't believe would ever have been worn by a pioneer woman in the untamed wild west.

Okay, the scene where the movie extras were singing about "The Black Hills of Dakota" as, maybe, a dozen of them sat on a hayride cart was very cliche, but it might not have been so cliche in the nineteen-fifties, so I'll try to excuse that...

During the last few minutes when Day and Keel were having a love-conversation, the script was absymal.  I was embarrassed.

I was equally embarrassed over the film's characters waxing about "A Woman's Touch".  Day floated around dusting, cleaning, cooking, and singing the song.  And the phrase was mentioned over and over during the second half of the movie.  So ... Day changed from a sharp-shooting buckskin-wearing tomboy into a subservient female with "A Woman's Touch", and Wild Bill fell for her (shades of Sandy in "Grease" who also changed for her man)?  Cringe-cringe-cringe.

I did spot an 'easter egg':  At one stage, Day is singing the  line "By the light of the Silvery Moon".  "By the light of the Silvery Moon" was also a stand-a!one song and movie starring Day.

It's been said to never go back to a movie you loved when you were young.  I think this saying could be right.  The times change, as do we....




 




Sunday, July 23, 2023

Where have all the shops gone?

 Hi there

(Oops I'm having trouble with the layout.  I hate it when I get stuck somewhere on the computer and I don't know how to get out of it....)

Now, over to a quandry that is leaving me a bit miffed:  where have all my favourite shops disappeared to?  Well, no that's not quite right.  The shops are still there, but the businesses have gone.

A few weeks ago, via the radio*, a talkback host was telling how he walked through Wellington CBD, from the bottom of Lambton Quay to the end of Courtenay Place, and he counted, like, 35 shops that were empty of businesses.

And it's everywhere.  When I was in New Plymouth, Mt Maunganui, Whakatane, Levin, Queeenstown, Wanaka, Melbourne, etc, there were soooo many empty shops.

My fave cafes have gone.  My fave clothing shops have gone.  My fave butcher has gone.  Many shops that were empty have now morphed into incense/crystal selling stores, $2-type shops, or here-today-gone-tomorrow places that can be leased out quickly by shop owners.

I went to go to what I considered the best Chinese buffet in the CBD, but it shut down overnight.  Ditto the fish and chip shop that called to me everytime I walked past (I didn't often answer that call because, you know, my so-called diet, but just knowing the shop was there soothed my nerves).  

I like window-prowling shops that sell pretty clothes and I'm still searching for the perfect casual-come-visiting jacket that i can scrunch up when not in use and hide it in my bag when out hiking, but, no, so many clothing shops have closed.  Sigh, I guess I'll never find that elusive jacket.  Oh well - bright moment here - I am going to Melbourne to see "Moulin Rouge". Maybe my jacket will call to me from there?

^^^^^^

*Radio?  It's a box with dials, and music and talking comes out though a speaker on the front. Will technology wonders never cease????



Sunday, July 16, 2023

My eyesight

 Hi there.

Since my second glaucoma operation my eyesight has been annoying me.  It's not that good.  

Last week I went to an Asian buffet place, just off Cable Car Lane.  

I got a Diet Coke (yes, yes, everyone knows that I'm an addict; I can't quit).

 "May I have a straw please."  I smiled to the lady behind the counter.

 " We don't have any, " said the lady.  There was no returning smile.  She thrust a glass at me.

I shuffled alongside the serve-yourself counter.  But then I saw something -

Ah-ha, there were straws!  

 Gotcha!   "You do have straws," I proclaimed loudly and with what, I imagined, was somewhat of a triumphant smirk.  I pointed to the jar holding the straws. 

The lady and half-a-dozen customers burst out into hysterical laughter.

Huh?

 " They're not straws, said the lady.  "They're chopsticks."

I was so embarrassed.  I blame my eye surgeon.



Sunday, July 9, 2023

Booking for the theatre on-line

 Hi there

I had decided to go and see "Moulin Rouge - the Musical" in Melbourne.  It meant I would have to book on-line.

Oh dear, I always have trouble booking theatre seats on-line.  Only once did I get it right with just one attempt:  it was for  "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child".  When I got into the pre-book wait room, there were over 1000 people before me trying to also book. With 19,000 behind me.  I ended up fourth row from the front.  Great show.

But last week....

I went into the official booking site for "Moulin Rouge - the Musical" armed with the website password that I'd had for a few years.  Hey, but wait, there was a message telling me I had to put in a special registration-y code.   I could only do this by leaving the website, and checking my emails for the code. With about  five minutes of  time to do everything.

This took half-a- dozen attempts.  

Then I had to change my password.  I had to go out again to look at my emails.

Four more attempts.

I finally got into the actual site but by the time I'd chosen my seat, I got timed out.  I had to start the whole process again.

And again.  And again.  And again.  Oh, that timed-out thingee.  It's not good for dyed-in-the-wool checkers of everything they ever type.  I got blocked out so many times from the seating I had chosen because of this timing-out.   I was furious.

Other times the website wouldnt accept my NZ phone number.

Or my country zone.  Or my area zone.

Then my new credit card was a no-no.  

Each time I had to restart the whole thing again. And again.  And again...

It all took 19 attempts.

In the end I rang up the booking office in Melbourne.  This only took three attempts.

I played The Old Lady Card.   And ...

Success!!!!  


above: a stock photo of a typical interior of a theatre showing "Moulin Rouge - the Musical".




Saturday, July 1, 2023

Traffic Stoppage down Lambton Quay, Wellington

 Hi there

I was in the bus a few days ago, during a Friday, lunchhour, and going to town.  Oops, Lambton Quay was blocked off, from Stewart Dawson's jewellery store down past Farmers department store and further along.  I had to hop off the bus...

Apparently, the transport blockage is for five days -  grrrrrhhh -  whilst a whole lot of gigantic cranes and whatnots block Wellington's main shopping street.  No transport at all allowed.  Whaaat!!??

I believe some huge cooling unit is being installed in a building.  Honestly, I've never been so close to such a big crane.  And what are all the other .... immense contraptions.....  So big, in fact, that my camera couldn't get in all equipment, specially the top half of the crane.