Visitors

Hi there

What!  I've got visitors coming this afternoon?  Oh dear.

I love my friends to bits but having them visit in one big swag is frightening.  If I was one if those women who shout, "Whoopee, visitors!  I can hardly wait to clean up the house for them," I would be ecstatic.  But I hate cleaning and that is why I almost live hermit status.  Who would choose to let visitors visit their  place to see dusty skirting boards, carpets that should have been vacuumed three weeks ago, non-essential papers strewn about, dull Venetian blinds, basins and sinks that could look more shiny,  a ring around the bath, a soapy shower-box, fingerprints on the fridge, and dust bunnies under the beds (everyone knows that Unwritten Rule No 2 When Visiting is to peer under the beds).

Well, I certainly wouldn't want visitors to visit if I had a place like that.  Oh, wait I do have a place like that!  Again, oh dear...

 In my bathroom vanity, in all three drawers, reaching about four layers high, and in no particular shoved-in order, there are explosions of jars, combs, emery boards, pegs, soaps, cotton wool, bandages, plasters, safety pins, brushes,  perfumes, powders and lipsticks.   Unwritten Rule No 1 When Visiting is to always, without exception, open every drawer and cupboard in a bathroom.  Have I said "Oh dear" before?  If not, I'll scream it now.

This morning, I am going to be busy.  Obviously, for hours.  With bucket, mop and duster.  And vacuum cleaner.  And empty rubbish bags.  And coughing and sneezing and wearing one of those masks that builders wear.  I got tested by an allergy company a few years' back and I have an allergy to cleaning - yes,yes, I know a lot of us feel allergic to cleaning in a completely emotional way but I am actually allergic to household cleaning products, as well as dust.  The gods are so cruel -

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PS:  two hours before my visitors were due to arrive,  my vacuum cleaner finally gave up the ghost.  I had to run out and buy a new one.  The afternoon went as, well as could be expected.