A beautiful day, but.... Oh, and what about the sand sharks?

 Hi there

I should've been at the beach today.  The sun was shining, the wind wasn't too bad, and it was in the right direction to guarantee that Hataitai Beach would be hidden away from any gale raging across the open sea.  I visualised all my friends there.

But I was busy cleaning the house.  For the plumber who is coming tomorrow.

Why do we do this?  Why should it matter?  I expect that we expect that the second after the plumber leaves our houses, he's going to start broadcasting the state of our kitchens through all social media platforms, radio stations, megaphones, his clients, neighbours....

All I am having done is the installation of a new tap over my kitchen sink. I cleaned the benches, I went into the under-sink cupboards.  I vacuumed the open plan kitchen/lounge/dining areas.  I scrubbed the toilet room floor (who knew, he might have wanted to use the loo?).  I scoured the bathroom floor and shower in case the plumber meant to compare one tap (faucet, if you're American) against another.  

I lugged the vacuum cleaner into the hallway, my bedroom, the spare rooms as all of those areas could be fractionally seen from the bathroom.  I cleaned the windows.

I should be thinking "To heck with the plumber.  Let him take me as he sees me..."  

I can't do that.  Mum's household lessons are heavily imprinted upon my mind.  I mean, the plumber is a Visitor.  Visitors have to come into a clean house.  Visitors are offered cups of tea and biscuits.

I am prepared ...

PS:  At Hataitai Beach last week there was a shoal of sand sharks all swimming close to the deck.   A solo one had been spotted there several years ago by The Little Mermaid; even though she knew that sand sharks are said to be harmless she said that she had never left the sea so fast as she did that day.

above:  Photo taken from the changing room deck at Hataitai Beach (a year or so ago)

Visitors

Hi there

What!  I've got visitors coming this afternoon?  Oh dear.

I love my friends to bits but having them visit in one big swag is frightening.  If I was one if those women who shout, "Whoopee, visitors!  I can hardly wait to clean up the house for them," I would be ecstatic.  But I hate cleaning and that is why I almost live hermit status.  Who would choose to let visitors visit their  place to see dusty skirting boards, carpets that should have been vacuumed three weeks ago, non-essential papers strewn about, dull Venetian blinds, basins and sinks that could look more shiny,  a ring around the bath, a soapy shower-box, fingerprints on the fridge, and dust bunnies under the beds (everyone knows that Unwritten Rule No 2 When Visiting is to peer under the beds).

Well, I certainly wouldn't want visitors to visit if I had a place like that.  Oh, wait I do have a place like that!  Again, oh dear...

 In my bathroom vanity, in all three drawers, reaching about four layers high, and in no particular shoved-in order, there are explosions of jars, combs, emery boards, pegs, soaps, cotton wool, bandages, plasters, safety pins, brushes,  perfumes, powders and lipsticks.   Unwritten Rule No 1 When Visiting is to always, without exception, open every drawer and cupboard in a bathroom.  Have I said "Oh dear" before?  If not, I'll scream it now.

This morning, I am going to be busy.  Obviously, for hours.  With bucket, mop and duster.  And vacuum cleaner.  And empty rubbish bags.  And coughing and sneezing and wearing one of those masks that builders wear.  I got tested by an allergy company a few years' back and I have an allergy to cleaning - yes,yes, I know a lot of us feel allergic to cleaning in a completely emotional way but I am actually allergic to household cleaning products, as well as dust.  The gods are so cruel -

++++

PS:  two hours before my visitors were due to arrive,  my vacuum cleaner finally gave up the ghost.  I had to run out and buy a new one.  The afternoon went as, well as could be expected.