THE HAT'S THE THING

In winter, I like to wear cosy woollen hats that lay close around the head.  Well-meaning knitting volunteers at charity shops must all work from the same pattern because I find such hats at OpShops all around the country.  I've bought half a dozen over the past couple of years.

It was a cold day a few weeks ago and wearing my latest little red number, I sailed into the SPCA charity shop in Petone. 

Success! -  I spotted a whole case full of the little woollen hats.  After I'd tried on most of the stock, and chosen one, I plonked my own hat back on my head and went up to the counter -

"I'll have this blue hat please."  I handed it over.

The guy put the hat in a recycled bag - good on him - and handed the bag to me.  "Don't forget to pay for the hat you're wearing" he said.

"What, no!  It's my own hat.  I wore it when I came in.  I bought it at the art-craft shop in Raumati.  I'm not a thief- "

I'm sure the guy didn't believe me.  I worried all the way home that he'd called the cops.  I visualised my face on wanted posters and all-points bulletins put out about me.  I would have to chase up a  statement from those arty crafty knitters in Raumati.

I'm innocent I tell you.  Innocent.