That special age

 Hi there

Next month I will be that special age and, by law, I have to renew my driver's licence.  This means I had to go to the doctor to ensure I was fit to drive.

I thought there'd be an eye test where I'd be looking at a chart.  And, yes, I was right...  I did look at an eye chart and I passed, yippee...

Then the practise nurse gave me some mental tests -

"Whaaat?"  My goodness, was I being tested for ... dementia?  Alzheimer's?  My mental acuity?  I was petrified. I'd naively thought I'd be identifying right-of-way diagrams of crossroads.

"I'm going to give you a list of ten items, and I want you to repeat back to me all the items you can remember..."

And, again, whaaaat?????  Where was a car diagram when I desperately needed one?

I repeated back seven from the list.  The nurse was pleased with me.  As she read out each word, I tried to associate it with something.  

Tree -  There was a tree hanging over the nurses' window

Bird -  I thought of a bird on the tree

Ticket -  A show ticket

Health -  I had a bad leg

Apple - First letter of alphabet

Ink - I write letters

Nail - my fingernail

The nurse did tell me that the following day after one such test, a subject lady had rang her up and shouted a missing  word down the phone at her.  I considered it the greatest victory to remember seven items.  I had thought I'd come up with one or two.

Nurse also did a diabetic test on my finger.  She seemed surprised that I tested clear.  She always looks surprised when I pass this test for diabetes.  

She took my blood pressure.  "It's a little high," she said.

"I'm terribly nervous," I said.

Then:    "Imagine yourself in a supermarket aisle," said the nurse..  "How many products can you name in a minute....  Go!"

I visualised myself walking around the Miramar New World.  I came up with 29 products.  I guess in the cocoon of my home, I would have got more but, hey, nerves, yeah?

The highest a small number of people before me had got was, apparently 30.  I preened....

Next....

"Can you repeat back to me any of those ten words that you remember from earlier," Nurse said.

What!-What!-What!-What????????????????????  The ten-word test had been a good twenty minutes ago.

Luckily - phew! - I got the same seven I'd told her earlier.

Nurse all but patted me on the head.  "I'm impressed," she said.

Shining with happiness, I was escorted into the doctor's surgery.  He tested my heart and lungs.  "Perfect" he said.  Wow, Mary Poppins was only 'practically perfect'.  But I rather suspect, it was a word my doctor used a lot.  I remember he'd called me 'perfect' a few years' back.

After queryng me about my health, he plonked one finger on his nose and with a finger from the other hand made a wide circle around his face and chest.  "Close one eye.  Don't look away from my nose but tell me if you can see my other finger every time I move it.... Can you see my finger now -"

"Yes, " I said.

Now?"

"Yes."

Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"Yes....  Yes...   Yes...

Oops, looks like I wasnt that spectacular with peripheral vision.

Still, he passed me.  Forty-one dollars later, I was on my way to the Automobile Association ($21) to get my new licence.

The following day, in my car, I scraped a motorist's side-mirror.  Oh dear.