Friday, September 6, 2013

Other People's Meals

Hi there

I'm in a restaurant or a cafe.  I'll be reading a menu and salivating over the obviously delicious choices of food open to me.  But then - groan - disappointment....

Whatever I order from a menu doesn't look as good as the food delivered to my friend sitting next to me.  No, hang on, let me change that:  my plate of food doesn't look as good as the plates of the half a dozen people sitting around my table-  Wait- no!  Make that my food sucks compared to everybody's food in the restaurant!

My friends are over-awed that whatever I order always comes across as the most uninteresting-looking dish ever.. 

"Oh, look, Lorraine's done it again.  Is that flat muddy-looking dollop on her plate supposed to be Fish a la Fantastico."

Yes, it is.  And it usually tastes like mud, too.

Truly, I have no idea how others do it, how they unerringly choose The Right Dish  A dish with fancy foodie flibbertigibbits, and meat that looks like it should be in the Museum of Modern Art instead of on a plate at my local cafe, and not to forget the intricate patterns drawn in sauce around the rim of the plate that would make Gordon Ramsay and, perhaps, Michaelangelo were he still alive, weep in ecstasy?

It tastes good, too.  Apparently.  So, my friends gushingly tell me.

Oprah told me once, from the tv, that she has the knack of always picking The Right Dish.  She was the envy of her friends.    I wish I knew her trick.   Or her friends.  It would be great to sit in with a bunch of others who also knew all about ordering The Wrong Dish.  I wouldn't feel so out of it.

At buffets, I sometimes excel.  But, then, buffets are like kindergartens for people like me, aren't they?  Diners are closeted, steered toward pretty entrees and yummy-looking desserts.  The food is laid out in front of you.  It's not hard to pick The Right Dish at a buffet.

Here's some more food from the buffets in Las Vegas.  Thank the heavens for buffets...



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