Sometimes we come across funny signs. I was passing the organic store in Kilbirnie the other day and there was a whiteboard outside the shop that read "cultured vegies".
Before such vegies are released out onto the market are they given elocution and deportment lessons, perhaps? Wheel-barrowed around museums and art galleries? Maybe taught the right cutlery to use for the right dinner course, rather like Julia Roberts was taught table layouts in "Pretty Woman"? though I guess even the most cultured vegetable would find it hard to nail a Richard Gere ... unless it was in the kitchen, then the vegie might stand a chance of being loved, cultured or not.
A long time ago I had a children's play in the New Zealand School Journal entitled "The Monster Sale". I'd seen sales labelled as such for years and I'd always wondered what would happen if a shop was really selling monsters.
Some names of places are just sheer awful. There's a restaurant in Kilbirnie called "Smell & Smile". Why?
Oh, I've got a cold. Actually, "a cold" doesn't sound dramatic enough for what I have. The word 'virus' is incredibly popular; maybe I'll adopt that. I remember snobby Margot in "The Good Life" or was it the same actress in "To the Manor Born" who became absolutely horrified when told she had a "common" cold. Like this lady I, too, do not want to have a cold that is considered 'common'.
I've had my flu vaccination so it can't be the 'flu' that I have but, oh-my-goodness, I've hardly been able to talk for five days. Bob-who-lives-up-the-road-and-around-the-corner has already told me that because of the silence from me, he can now hear overhead planes and birds. What cheek!
I feel awful that J and I can't go swimming because of my catching The Plague. I hope she'll forgive me.