I knocked the bedside light off the table at my holiday home in Eketahuna.
The light was still working, but the shade and its fittings were irrepairably dented, plus the red-hot bulb was now 'joined' to the shade. Oops.
Perhaps I could buy a replica shade and nobody would notice? I'd seen this done lots of times in Movie of the Week on television where parents substituted replica mice or guinea pigs for accidentally killed household pets. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, that's what I would do, too. No, not buy a guinea pig or a mouse... honestly, keep up with me, will you?
I seached-I-mean-truly-searched the whole of the Masterton shopping area (25 minutes away) for a new lampshade. I went into high-grade stores, second-hand stores, The Warehouse, electrical places, charity shops, the information centre. I spent the whole day in Masterton when I should have been swimming in the river in front of The Cottage. Lots of lamps with shades intact to be had, but no single shades to be bought for love nor money. And by 3 pm, I was truly willing to exchange love for a lampshade. How cheap can a gal get?.
A sales assistant in one store told me to go to "Shady Lady" in Petone.
Great. Petone was down by my home. An hour and a half away. No way was I going home to buy a lampshade and then back again to the Wairarapa district.
Finally, I found lampshades at Mitre 10. The shade was smaller than I was searching for, but it would have to do.
I got back to The Cottage but had forgotten to buy a light bulb. I drove 10 minutes to the Eketahuna Four-Square, then back again to The cottage to discover that the bulb was broken. So, back I went to Eketahuna for a new bulb.
I couldn't get the darn lampshade onto the light fitting, try as I might. After three hours, I gave up. I slunk off home to Wellington, leaving behind one sheepish confession to a cottage owner, one shadeless bedside lamp, one battered and burnt shade, one new lampshade, one bulb with some lampshade material burnt into it, a spare light bulb, and, hopefully, enough money to buy a whole new bedside lamp.
Above is the offending bedside lamp, photo taken pre-accident....