Monday, March 17, 2014

Oh, how I hate dentists...

Hi there

I don't intend to denigrate dentists... well, yes, actually,I guess I do.  The whole dentist thing as we know it is barbaric.  There should be finely-tuned lasers that dentists can do the job with, instead of the medieval torture equipment that is currently in use?

Today I went to the dentist to have a crown put on a tooth.  I was three and a half hours on the premises - 3 hours in the dentist's chair and half an hour, between tortures, trying out a massage chair in the waiting area.    There is another one and a half hours to go at some future date.

When I was nine,  dental nurses at the Dental Clinic in the old Willis street dental clinic building threatened to put me in The blue Room if I didn't stop squirming.  I had nightmares about The Blue Room until I was well into my teens.  I realise now The Blue Room was just talk to keep a kid under a strict disciplinarian's thumb.  Oh, NZ dental system, you have a lot to answer for.

Today was horrendous for me.  The torture just kept on going... and going .... and going...  I had so many injections that I lost count.  Proper numbness didn't hit my mouth until an hour into the session, and it was supposed to take, like, five minutes.  This happened to me once before with another dentist.  Something about my being so tense, maybe?

Oh, below is the famous Steve Martin "Be a Dentist" song from the musical movie "Little Shop of Horrors".

I'm typing this about five hours after the event, all sorry for myself, and I can still hardly talk (wow, what a relief, some people might say).  This evening, I could only splutter down the receiver when a friend rang me.   When I tried to swirl a glass of water around in my mouth in front of the dentist, the whole lot spurted out of the corner of my mouth and down my new jacket.  I guess dentists are used to this.

Anyway, here's a funny dentist skit from the old Carol Burnett television show.

Oh, and for the guy from down the road and around the corner who wants to see more of the models I photographed at Hataitai Beach last weekend.  Sorry, Bob (an alias), I don't have any close-up pictures.

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